Even though I was raised Catholic, I personally never been a religious person. As the years pass I become less and less attached to religion and their beliefs, which I know see as almost pure bullshit. However, I am spiritual and do believe that there is a higher power surrounding us. There have been times where doubt overshadows everything else and I get to a point where I don’t know what to believe in, I don’t feel a presence or anything like that within me. To be honest, sometimes it all feels like false hope and as if I’m just deceiving myself. I think this is something many of us go through at some point, the concept of faith and of maintaining hope is a very difficult to fully grasp especially when we’re constantly facing adversity. Vera Farmiga’s Higher Ground explores these notions and questions in what easily is one of the best films of 2011.

The film begins with Corinne (Vera Farmiga) being baptized and while she’s in the water the film moves on to how she got there. First as a little girl in church where she felt for the first time the presence of Jesus, but walked away from it a few days later after her mother (Donna Murphy) had a miscarriage. Then as a teenager, played by Vera Farmiga’s sister Taissa Farmiga, as she experiences love for the first time. During this time Corinne’s father, CW (John Hawkes), becomes an alcoholic which seriously damages his marriage, but she turns to God once again when she survives a terrible accident. Finally we return to the beginning of the film, in which Corinne is married and has three children. Struggles ensue as she starts to question the square-minded ideals of her church members and the terrible absence of God in her live.

Let me start off by saying that I really identified with Corinne’s spiritual crisis. I understood how she felt, her doubts and constant questions. One of the most heart-breaking things about Corinne is that she longs for God’s presence in her life, but no matter how much she believes and praises him she just doesn’t feel him. She keeps waiting for some sort sign to tell her that she’s on the right path, that these horrible situations she keeps facing are for a reason but nothing happens. Ironically enough, it is only when she fully steps away from God and her church’s frustrating and single-minded ideals that she finally finds some semblance of serenity. There’s a speech she delivers at the end of the film that will shatter the heart of every person who has faced similar existential hardships.

Vera Farmiga gives an Oscar-worthy and eternally beautiful performance in this film. Her facial expressions conjure up perfectly every single thought and emotion that goes through her mind. I think vulnerable performances are the most difficult ones to give, but Vera Farmiga makes it look effortless. She embodies the character so well and fills it with numerous subtle emotionally-charged gestures. There’s a scene at church in which the priest or father is trying to justify a terrible misfortune that occurred to a very close friend of Corinne, and you can see in Vera Farmiga’s face not only all the pain she’s experiencing, but more importantly the conflict of faith. She’s having trouble understanding the concept that everything happens for a reason and that’s when the hopelessness and doubt start surfacing. From watching her performance and also her direction, you get a palpable sense of dear and personal this character study is for her.

Higher Ground is Vera Farmiga’s directorial debut and her direction is quite remarkable, which completely took me by surprise. She doesn’t over-dramatize the proceedings and instead focuses a lot on performance subtleties between the actors. Like for example, there is a scene between John Hawkes and Donna Murphy that occurs at a birthday party that is one of the most beautiful scenes I’ve seen this year. There’s no dialogue between them but the camera lingers on their expressions and you can tell exactly what they’re telling each other. Farmiga approaches this film in a very intimate and personal matter, which in terms makes it that much more powerful. I found only two small instances where the camera movement falters a bit, but overall she does a brilliant job.

Suffice to say that I absolutely loved Higher Ground. The film isn’t so much about religion as it it about a woman’s spiritual journey into understanding her purpose in life. There are moments where one gets really angry and frustrated, because most times really religious people are so blinded and single-minded that they completely reject different ideals and thoughts. That’s when one witnesses how damaging religion can be, which is why I believe being spiritual is far more important than being religious. Religion, especially Christianity has too many constraints and paradoxes at their very core, like they say they love humanity but not if you’re gay or don’t follow their ideals. Higher Ground is a beautiful, deeply emotional and interesting character study film that proves Vera Farmiga is a great filmmaker. Her strength tips towards acting more so than directing, but her handle on the subject matter and the actors is quite impressive.

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